Growing Up

In my humble opinion, kids grow up way too darn fast. So is it so bad for me to want to hang on to Adryan's "little boy-isms" for as long as I can? His don't-leave-home-without-it turtle, Rainbow is his most loved possession; comparable to The Velveteen Rabbit or Buzz & Woody. Rainbow's been lost, been stolen, been filthy, been chewed on, dropped, thrown, kissed, hugged, and lately, photographed. I have been asked to document Rainbow's travels for memory sake. Here, Rainbow joined us at Oak Creek Canyon in Arizona. Isn't he adorable? Just because he's 8 years old, doesn't mean he has to be grown up yet...keep on loving that Rainbow, baby boy!

Have you ever wondered...

...why you were in the place you are? Why you're a SAHM, or a WAHM? Why you spend your days wiping faces and butts instead of punching keys and numbers? Why you punch keys and numbers instead of cleaning toilets or making beds?

I do. I wonder a lot about why I'm not doing what I thought I'd be doing now. 20 years ago, I would have told you that I'd be a famous actress with 10 kids and two novels behind me. I wanted to act, to write, and to be a mommy. I wanted to be a chauffeur to the stars, I wanted to write songs for singers, I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to be everything. With all the choices I had, instead, I became indecisive. I became a wanderer. I'm a bouncer. I get bored easily, I change jobs constantly because I'm always looking for something that I'm good at.

I haven't found my niche. Shouldn't I have found it already? I take photos, I take care of children, I am a cashier, I am a driver, a blogger, an aunt, a movie critic, a yo-yo dieter, a friend, an auntie, a freelance poet, a human.

But, I am clueless. I want everything. I cannot settle, I'm picky. Does that mean there's something wrong with me? I just don't know what I want to be when I "grow up". I'm going to be 31 in a few months, and I just feel....STUCK.

Well, that's my blog for today...I was going to tell you the things that bother me, but that would take all night. However, I would like to share a few.

1. I hate that magazines make money by printing lies, or half-truths about celebrities.
2. I hate that celebrities are not easily reached. I would love to just be someone's friend because in my opinion, true friendships are hard to come by in Hollywood.
3. I hate that people get upset and blame others for their moods.
4. I hate it when people throw trash on the ground.
5. I hate it when people throw obscenities around because they've got nothing better to say.

Okay...I love the majority of people. I see the good in everything. And, I'm glad to be alive.

I'm done rambling now. When I've got a purpose for a blog, I'll write some more.

Weight Loss

I am once again dedicated to losing weight. I am hoping Tony Horton and P90X, my sister, and brother-in-law will help me stay on track. Watching Big Life w/Kirstie, can't wait 'til she starts the program and found out that PINK does it too. So much inspiration...I can do it.